Christopher Berinato| For Do Savannah
Comedian and writer Michael Ian Black began his career on the MTV sketch comedy show, "The State," and has appeared in movies like "Wet Hot American Summer" and "This is 40." His children's books include "I’m Bored, I’m Sad, and I’m Worried," and the parody, "A Child’s First Book of Trump." His books for adults include "You’re Not Doing it Right," "My Custom Van," and "America, You Sexy B***h," co-authored with Meaghan McCain.
For his latest book, "A Better Man," Black dialed back his cutting sardonic wit to compose a heartfelt, (mostly) serious letter to his 18-year-old son as he goes off to college that addresses the issue of masculinity in our current time and how men can improve on the model of manliness.
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Black began to question masculinity when he observed the growing number of school shootings by young (usually) white boys. The tragic Sandy Hook shooting took place near Black's home in Connecticut as his own children were attending the elementary school next door to Sandy Hook.
Why does manliness, or the idea of it, lead to violence? What does it really mean to “man up”? Do men really have to be tough and stoic all of the time, or is there room for vulnerability and tenderness?
In "A Better Man," Black examines his complicated relationship with his father, who showed little affection, and passed away when Black was very young. Black’s mother found love with another woman, so he was raised by two moms, further complicating his understanding of manliness. It is possible that Black’s unconventional upbringing made him uniquely qualified to write about modern masculinity.
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“Maybe some stuff in some ways I’m even less qualified because a lot of these conversations have to do with the presence of fathers in one’s life or the way fathers treat their sons, and I didn’t have that as much,” said Black. “I didn’t have a lot of men in my life growing up. From that perspective I’m probably less qualified. I’m probably more qualified in other respects. I probably thought about this more than most people as a result of my upbringing.”
The subject of gender and the differences between men and women are common fodder for stand-up comedy, but Black did not rely of humor to formulate thoughts for his book.
“The two were kind of separate, but thematic ideas have been in my stand-up from the very beginning,” explained Black. “Ideas about gender, and what’s a guy supposed to do, and how is a guy supposed to act. That stuff has been in my stand-up forever, but this specific material that’s in the book...it is called a (mostly) serious letter to my son, and it is mostly serious.
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“What was difficult about it was — I mean writing is always difficult — what was different aboutthis was deliberately trying not to write jokes. Not to leaven it that much and just let the material speak for itself.That was difficult, but if anybody would care what I have to say, in general, they may care even less if there aren’t a lot of jokes in it, so it was hard to trust that.”
One of the thought provoking (and in this case, humorous) ideas in "A Better Man" is Black’s concept of the “Infinite Axis if Masculinity.” Black was inspired by a "Saturday Night Live" sketch in which Bill Murray is a game show host who shows his contestants two photos of masculine actors and asks, “¿Quién es más macho?”
“I realized that you can do that with literally everything,”said Black.“You can ask, ‘Which is more macho? This or that?’ There will be a correct answer, which is nuts, but it’s true. And we don’t even think about it on a conscious level, but we know instinctively a big dog is more macho than a small dog. Why? I don’t know.”
Another obvious example is the fact that Black prefers tea to coffee.¿Quién es más macho?
Although Black wrote this book for his son, Elijah, being a typical teenager, he has not actually read the whole thing, yet. Then again, what teenager would read anything their parents wrote?
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“In fairness to him, if he’s read any of my book that’s more than he has read of any other book,” said Black.“So I feel pretty good about that.
“In my mind I guess I think of it more as a book for parents than kids as maybe a way for parents to be more reflective and think about how they want to talk to their kids about some of this stuff, and how they even want to have the conversation about this with themselves. Maybe it will resonate with them because they’ve gone through some of the same stuff I’ve gone through, had some of the same questions I had, or just had the sense that the way we’re taught to be as men is less complete than it could be. Maybe I was able to articulate that stuff in a way that you might have not been able to if you hadn’t spent a couple of years slaving over a keyboard on it.”
As an anti-thesis to the proliferation of men’s right activists like the Proud Boys, Incels, and Jordan Peterson, "A Better Man" showed up on shelvesat agoodtime.
“Unfortunately, I think the timing of the book is probably pretty good whatever time it is,”Black corrected.“I will say that the conversation has started in a way that maybe it hadn’t a few years ago, so the door opened. Since then things haven’t gotten that much better, but the conversation continues.
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“In some ways I became much more sympathetic to people that I might have been a little more hostile towards at the beginning of the process. People who really think of themselves as ‘guy’s guys.’ I think I understand them a little bit better and I think I understand that part of myself a little bit better. And I’m constantly reminded that whatever progress I’ve made is slow and halting, and I’m constantly trying to remind myself to heed my own lessons. It’s easy to screw up. It’s easy to be a dick and I’m trying not to be.”
IF YOU GO
What: Savannah Book Festival: Michael Ian Black,A Better Man
When: Saturday at 12:45 p.m.
Where: Trinity United Methodist Church, 225 W. President St.
Cost: Free
Info:savannahbookfestival.org
